Well I am really glad I resisted my horrifying cravings yesterday to make it to today. It was an easy day. No clusters, no huge earth shattering craves that paralyzed me.
I was in a huge trigger moment today. I and my friend would always go and get coffee, go to a park and rehash our lives. We sat in the park, drank our coffee (green tea for me), and she smoked. I actually felt like I should be walking instead of just sitting there. I enjoyed myself, we hadn't reconnected in quite awhile. The need I felt really was nothing, like a fly I had to keep brushing away.
I am finding out that my afternoon coffee and smoke break had a bigger impact on my life than I thought. It does trigger me about as much as the morning time. I am finding that if I do struggle or need to be prepared, it is in the morning and the afternoon. I am hoping that now that my body has fully purged the nicotine it will get easier and I can start learning to live without cigarettes. I am also finding that I only drink one cup of coffee in the morning and one in the afternoon. When I smoke I would drink a pot in the afternoon and a pot in the morning. If I did not, I had no energy to function throughout my day.
Energy levels, with the exception of yesterday, are pretty good. I feel a little tired in the afternoon, but not enough to want to nap. In comparison, when I smoke I am ready to sleep by 10 am. My brain feels a little foggy and I am having trouble concentrating on anything for longer than 30 minutes. I am getting ADD jokes from the family. I am getting dizzy pretty often which is kind of strange and if that continues I may give the doc a call.
I am hoping the fogginess, dizziness and ADD is all the oxygen flooding my brain. I am hoping that my brain is not used to oxygen rich blood and has to regulate itself a little bit. Purging my body of carbon monoxide and all of those poisons will have some effects I have to feel. My sinuses are clogged up and my throat is also beginning to get sore. Not sure if this is purging, or I am getting sick.
Speaking of purging poisons, my mind is returning over and over to many different detox and health programs to support how my body heals from the cigarette toxins. I figure I have subjected my body to these poisons for over twenty years, I really need to do everything I can to clean up the mess. I have been researching different detox programs to decide how I want to go about cleaning house. To me the detox actually feels like a reward.
I am walking or exercising in one way or another to start my change in lifestyle, contribute to my heart and lung health, and up those dopamine levels. I can tell you that reconnecting with nature every morning is damn good for the soul. Just what I need to reward myself for hard work. Speaking of rewards, birchbox.com may be something I am going to look into as a reward for quitting. I figure I will order from them on my one month anniversary.
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