Knowing My Nicotine Triggers

So I made this list at the beginning of my quit.  My goal was to avoid these triggers so that I did not have to suffer through unnecessary cravings.  


Coffee

Alcohol

Stress

Driving

Rewards: terms of new rewards - book read time, craft time, think different ways to break from daily routines.

A new routine.


Now I am into my second month of quitting and I have to smile about thinking I had to avoid such things.  I am not a big drinker, so I have yet to achieve that hurdle.  As the weather gets warmer I will face more social challenges.


I think the best thing about facing a trigger is that you grow stronger each time you choose not to smoke.  Every step you make strengthens your quit resolve and the trigger looses its power. 


I drive without thinking about cigarettes, even in stressful rush hour traffic.  I make it through stressful situations (I have two teenage daughters) with a passing thought of a cigarette that disappears quickly. I enjoy my coffee every day, and I no longer wish to pair it with a cigarette.


What I have learned that is very important for every beginning quitter to know is that triggers loose their power very quickly.


I think that whenever I thought about quitting I feared facing these triggers over and over again for weeks, months and years.  I do not have to face those triggers repeatedly and they do not cause me cravings.  Triggers loose their power quickly.  


This is not to say I will not face cravings.  I know I must stay vigilant against possible triggers that will sneak up on me.  I just want to express my relief that triggers loose power once they are confronted.  This empowerment is what keeps me finish each day nicotine free.

Day 33: First Contact with a Cigarette in a Closed Room

Quick note that today is the first time I was face to face with a cigarette.  I went over to visit with my neighbor, who is a 2 pack a day smoker, and he offered me a cigarette.  I turned him down of course, but spent an hour or so with him and three smoked cigarettes.  He buys loose tobacco because it is cheaper.  Ugh.  I can still smell it on me.  I have not showered yet, but oh my gosh.  I know I used to smell like this and it never bothered me.  It smells like I am wearing cheap, nasty perfume that does not fade.  I can not get used to it.  I absolutely did not want a cigarette.  In fact, being in that room with no ventilation I felt like I was in a gas chamber.  How did I inhale that for so long?  Geez.  To see this from the other side is a whole new experience.  Like I stated before, I have to say I am addicted to nicotine because I could never inhale smoke again.

Day 32: Learning that Nicotine is What I Crave, Not Cigarettes

When I used to smoke I would take my break outside.  I would sit on my deck and think of what I get to do to my garden.  I would look at my plants (or in the winter where my plants will be) and think about how much peace they give me.  For the first time in a little over a month I sat outside and took a break.  I still looked at my plants.  I thought about how I used to smoke, how I would hate myself while smoking.  I did not think about how much I missed the nicotine.  I am starting to think of it in that way.  Not that I missed smoking. I hated smoking.  I hated the way my lips looked while sucking on the filter.  I hated the way smoke looked around my face.  I hated the smell on my fingers, hair and clothes.  But oh that nicotine rush is what I miss.  But now I find my happiness in different ways.  Today I breathed deep and thought how nice it was to have energy today.  I smelled the soggy leaves and felt the warm sun.  I am grateful for not constantly depending on nicotine to allow me to be happy about these things.

Day 30: A Month Passes Quickly

I am on my 30th day.  When I wake tomorrow morning I will have completed these 30 days.  I have not forgotten some of the more challenging days.  Specifically the day I lay on the couch and cried all day long.   I go through my month of writings and think of all I have accomplished.  The challenging days always seemed to be rewarded, which gives me hope.  I hope my family reads this and thinks about their own quit. I hope they see that if I can do this they can too.  I want to see them succeed.

Posting on this blog has saved me many a times, and I will continue often.  I want to focus my energy on more education.  I want to empower myself and others with positive thinking and healthy attitudes.  I have laid a 30 day foundation.  By no way am I done or safe from a relapse so I will continue to share my journey.  I hope others will follow along.

So much has changed over this month.  I love the new me.  I love not thinking of smoking in the morning.   All of the advantages I have gained make me crave a non-smoking day as much as I used to crave a cigarette.  I want that for all of the people I love.  I want them to take this same journey.

Day 29: Positive Attitude is a Key to No Nicotine

We always hear about how well positive reinforcement works for many different situations.  When we try to teach a new concept, positive reinforcement is usually the best advice possible.  The same attitude is important for quitting smoking.  As a smoker who thinks about quitting we often view what we are giving up instead of think about what we might be gaining.  I think this is because we really do not know what we gain until we experience it.  Smokers do not know what to expect out of a life of not smoking, so how can we reinforce our quit?  Kind of hard to do so.

Many advice websites focus on the bad effects of cigarettes, and those things are very true.  Cigarettes cause ugly, nasty side effects and most smokers can recite all of those effects by heart.  A smoker obsesses over what cigarettes do to her body every time they light a smoke.  Every hitch in breath and pain makes her wonder if cigarettes have finally made irreparable damage.  Educating oneself about how disgusting cigarettes are and what they do to our body is very important, but not enough to get people to quit.  Maybe for a week or two, but fear does not usually sustain a quit.

What comes next?  How can positive reinforcement help our quit become successful?  This is what I do.

• I am always smelling my hair, clothes and fingers.  The behavior is a little strange, but has gotten me through more than a couple of cravings.  For some reason when I smell the clean scent of my own non-smoking being, it completely reinforces what I am doing.
• My sense of smell and taste were greatly affected when I smoked.  I could bury my nose in a bouquet of roses and not smell them.  Now, whenever I taste or smell anything I remind myself of how wonderful the experience is.  I do not want to lose it, and therefore I make sure I never take advantage of how glorious a lemon drop really tastes.
• I read.  I read about other people's quits.  I read forums, blogs and books.  I read about addiction and habits.  I read to educate myself and to laugh.  I have my favorite websites that I visit every day.  I read positive information about making health, life and love better.
• I think about the experiences that open up for me every day.  The walks and hikes that fulfill my soul and my body.  The extra time for myself and my family.  My ability to think clearly is indescribable and positive.  
• I focus on my health now.  I think about what I eat, drink and how active I am.  I take vitamins every day.  I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.
• When I smoked I was really hard on myself.  I hated myself everyday.  I did not think good of myself as a woman or a mother.  I put myself down for various reasons.  I do not do this now.  I am proud of myself now.  I feel good for what I have done.  I feel good as a mother.  I feel strong and capable.  I feel like I have a spine for standing up against my cravings instead of giving in to them.  

Day 28: The Day in the Life of a Non-Smoker

I feel like I need to keep updating how I am feeling because when I was still smoking I was most curious about what would happen to me.  This is the main reason why I want to share this blog with other smokers. We are so afraid of going through the unknown.  As a smoker, it is scary to not know what life is like without cigarettes.  That used to be my biggest fear.

• How do I start my day without cigarettes and coffee?  
• Well I still start my day with coffee.  Strangely enough I stopped missing this routine quickly into my quit.  Now I sleep in a little later than normal, and I still enjoy my morning coffee.  I do miss sitting outside in the morning, but I think by the time spring is here I will be able to do so without triggering a craving.

• How do I reward myself for a job well done (cleaning, writing, working, cooking, projects)?  
• I have found that I do not need a reward/break in between each and every task that I complete.  This is really only an aspect of the nicotine addiction.  What was really happening was my body withdrawing in between tasks.  Now that I do not have that physical withdrawal every 1/2 hour, I do not "need" a reward.

• Talk to my mom or gram on the phone?
• This one is tough for me because the association with talking to them and smoking goes back decades.  Literally since I was a teenager.  Big time trigger.  I actually have not talked to them as much as I usually do, which is sad and I miss them.  I know once I get through the first long conversation my brain will rewire itself.

• Drive long distances?  
• Long distance driving is about the boredom.  Funny enough I do talk on the phone occasionally and that helps.  Have you ever tried to smoke, drive and talk?  It is challenging.  So I have gotten an occasional call to Gram on my long drives.  I have a harder time with the stress levels of driving in rush hour traffic to cause triggers more than anything.

• What do I do after I finish eating?
• Once again, I no longer need to satisfy a nicotine withdrawal.  I really think that is why a cigarette seems so satisfying after a dinner.  The social activity + not smoking for a period of time automatically makes the after eating cigarette much more satisfying.  Those nicotine receptors are empty and begging to be filled.

• Will I enjoy my afternoon coffee?
• The only answer I need for this question is this: 

• When I get angry, upset, sad, happy or bored?
• Dealing with the wide range of emotions has been quite an adventure.  I have found that I can think clearly because I am not blaming my feelings on withdrawal.  I am able to hash out my real feelings and try to decide how I want to deal with them.  Not smoking during this time has been a challenge, but it has also been eye opening.  I have realized that I did not even know the real me.
• How to end my day without smoking before bed?
• I write this blog to end my day, and I have to say that I really enjoy writing here.  I enjoy thinking about my day, and sharing it with others.  I fall asleep with a full breathe in my lungs and a clean mouth and teeth.  My fingers and hair do not smell and I feel good about myself and my body.  Instead of falling asleep wondering how fast I am killing myself, I fall asleep thinking of what a good thing I did today, not smoking.

Day 27: Keeping Up the Momentum

So I find it interesting that I feel as if I have lost my good health vibe.  I do not know if I am just in a slump, and how do I get out of this lazy behavior?  It really takes a lot of hard work to change your life, health and habits.  Day to day activities and stresses can easily pop up and get in the way.  It is necessary to constantly stay vigilant about what to eat, where to exercise and stay on guard against cravings.  These are some of my goals during this week.

• I need to keep up with exercising even when it is cold.  I use the cold as an excuse not to get out and walk.  I could very easily exercise at home, and the girls want me to get a membership at the gym.
• I really have to cut down on the coffee.  I have not slowed my consumption down.  I am still drinking too much in the afternoon.  I have green tea and fresh lemons.  
• I have lost interest in feel good foods and I am reaching for the cookies way too often.  I need to make sure I am eating the correct stuff. 

I do want to say that one of the reasons I am slacking is because I have not had to distract myself away from cravings.  Very seldom do I feel the need to smoke.  When I do think about smoking, I see the old habit as a hole in my being.  I have gotten lazy filling this hole with positive behaviors and reinforcement so that I do not want to fill it with smoke.  An example was taking the kids for an outing yesterday.  I need day to day habits to help me feel fulfilled in addition to the special treats.

Am I being to hard on myself?  I do not think so.  I think I must stay vigilant so that relapse is not possible. I never, ever want to take another puff.  Ever.