Friday, January 20, 2012

The Hunger and the Tears

Today has been horrifying.  I do not know how I have made it this far without smoking.  It is like I get a craving and short break.  Very short.  Before I am catching my breath from one it is hitting me with another.  I have been knocked to my knees with a hunger and all I can do is lay on the couch and let it wash over me.  I don't dare go outside.  I don't talk to anyone.  I am also feeling depression, crying.  I just want to curl up and go away.  I do not know what is keeping me going.  I do not know how I am holding on.  I surely know it is not sanity.  Even though there is no physical pain I can describe it feels as if my body and brain is reacting to a physical pain.  This day.  This is the day all smokers fear.
This to shall pass.  Please do not let me succumb.

2 days 6 hours 3 minutes

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