Day 42: More Detoxification from Nicotine

• So it seems like I have a new recurrence of my body detoxing itself.  I am low on energy, high on stuffy nose, sore throat and coughing up phlegm.  I even have cold sores. I do not have a "cold" so I am thinking this is still detoxification. So this kind of sucks.  My vitamin taking inspired my daughters to take vitamins so I ran out.  Wondering if that may have to do with it also.  Who knows.  I will do some research.  
• I do want to mention that during my first month of cigarettes I barely coughed.  My smoker's cough disappeared but I did not cough up anything gross either.  I was expecting this because of what I have read - that the lungs try to purge themselves of nastiness.  So I am thinking that they are doing this now.
• Cravings are minimum - though present.  More than anything it is like remembering a past event in my life.  I acknowledge the craving for what it is and move on with my life.  It feels pretty darn good to live my life smoke free.  I have only really let a handful of people know that I am not smoking. 

Support is Vital to the Quit

I think that it is really important for people to let their family know that they plan on quitting cigarettes.  In the past my addiction was so terrible that the shame of telling them I relapsed was not enough to keep me from picking up a cigarette.  I wouldn't tell them right away though.  I would smoke, hide it for awhile, get annoyed with the inconvenience of closet smoking and then finally give in and let them know I relapsed.  I never thought to call them before I smoked that cigarette. 


One thing I can say is that if you do want to start smoking again and you take the time to call the people you love and let them know before you pick up that cigarette it may be a last chance to defer from giving in to a craving.  By talking to these people - it gets me through the craving, reminds me of how much I am loved and reaffirms why I am quitting because they are going to tell me.  They are the support group.


Around my month anniversary I hit a pretty big roadblock that, of course, caused me to want to smoke pretty bad.  - I had on my shoes, my car keys were in hand and I had talked myself into smoking.  I was in despair because I had given up. - I just happened to be talking to my husband at this time.  It was like he was talking a suicide jumper off the ledge.  It worked - he reminded me of all the reasons why I did not want to go buy those cigarettes.  


I think that it is necessary to choose the right type of people to support you through the quit.  They have to be positive, they have to understand addiction to nicotine and they have to have an unending supply of patience.  If you are lucky enough to have even one person like this to call during your quit - then share with them your quit experience.  Their input will be invaluable.  I hope someday I can return the favor.


NOT A SINGLE BIT OF NICOTINE - YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT - RESIGNING TO JUST ONE IS RESIGNING TO START SMOKING AGAIN - THIS KEEPS ME GOING.

Knowing My Nicotine Triggers

So I made this list at the beginning of my quit.  My goal was to avoid these triggers so that I did not have to suffer through unnecessary cravings.  


Coffee

Alcohol

Stress

Driving

Rewards: terms of new rewards - book read time, craft time, think different ways to break from daily routines.

A new routine.


Now I am into my second month of quitting and I have to smile about thinking I had to avoid such things.  I am not a big drinker, so I have yet to achieve that hurdle.  As the weather gets warmer I will face more social challenges.


I think the best thing about facing a trigger is that you grow stronger each time you choose not to smoke.  Every step you make strengthens your quit resolve and the trigger looses its power. 


I drive without thinking about cigarettes, even in stressful rush hour traffic.  I make it through stressful situations (I have two teenage daughters) with a passing thought of a cigarette that disappears quickly. I enjoy my coffee every day, and I no longer wish to pair it with a cigarette.


What I have learned that is very important for every beginning quitter to know is that triggers loose their power very quickly.


I think that whenever I thought about quitting I feared facing these triggers over and over again for weeks, months and years.  I do not have to face those triggers repeatedly and they do not cause me cravings.  Triggers loose their power quickly.  


This is not to say I will not face cravings.  I know I must stay vigilant against possible triggers that will sneak up on me.  I just want to express my relief that triggers loose power once they are confronted.  This empowerment is what keeps me finish each day nicotine free.

Day 33: First Contact with a Cigarette in a Closed Room

Quick note that today is the first time I was face to face with a cigarette.  I went over to visit with my neighbor, who is a 2 pack a day smoker, and he offered me a cigarette.  I turned him down of course, but spent an hour or so with him and three smoked cigarettes.  He buys loose tobacco because it is cheaper.  Ugh.  I can still smell it on me.  I have not showered yet, but oh my gosh.  I know I used to smell like this and it never bothered me.  It smells like I am wearing cheap, nasty perfume that does not fade.  I can not get used to it.  I absolutely did not want a cigarette.  In fact, being in that room with no ventilation I felt like I was in a gas chamber.  How did I inhale that for so long?  Geez.  To see this from the other side is a whole new experience.  Like I stated before, I have to say I am addicted to nicotine because I could never inhale smoke again.

Day 32: Learning that Nicotine is What I Crave, Not Cigarettes

When I used to smoke I would take my break outside.  I would sit on my deck and think of what I get to do to my garden.  I would look at my plants (or in the winter where my plants will be) and think about how much peace they give me.  For the first time in a little over a month I sat outside and took a break.  I still looked at my plants.  I thought about how I used to smoke, how I would hate myself while smoking.  I did not think about how much I missed the nicotine.  I am starting to think of it in that way.  Not that I missed smoking. I hated smoking.  I hated the way my lips looked while sucking on the filter.  I hated the way smoke looked around my face.  I hated the smell on my fingers, hair and clothes.  But oh that nicotine rush is what I miss.  But now I find my happiness in different ways.  Today I breathed deep and thought how nice it was to have energy today.  I smelled the soggy leaves and felt the warm sun.  I am grateful for not constantly depending on nicotine to allow me to be happy about these things.

Day 30: A Month Passes Quickly

I am on my 30th day.  When I wake tomorrow morning I will have completed these 30 days.  I have not forgotten some of the more challenging days.  Specifically the day I lay on the couch and cried all day long.   I go through my month of writings and think of all I have accomplished.  The challenging days always seemed to be rewarded, which gives me hope.  I hope my family reads this and thinks about their own quit. I hope they see that if I can do this they can too.  I want to see them succeed.

Posting on this blog has saved me many a times, and I will continue often.  I want to focus my energy on more education.  I want to empower myself and others with positive thinking and healthy attitudes.  I have laid a 30 day foundation.  By no way am I done or safe from a relapse so I will continue to share my journey.  I hope others will follow along.

So much has changed over this month.  I love the new me.  I love not thinking of smoking in the morning.   All of the advantages I have gained make me crave a non-smoking day as much as I used to crave a cigarette.  I want that for all of the people I love.  I want them to take this same journey.

Day 29: Positive Attitude is a Key to No Nicotine

We always hear about how well positive reinforcement works for many different situations.  When we try to teach a new concept, positive reinforcement is usually the best advice possible.  The same attitude is important for quitting smoking.  As a smoker who thinks about quitting we often view what we are giving up instead of think about what we might be gaining.  I think this is because we really do not know what we gain until we experience it.  Smokers do not know what to expect out of a life of not smoking, so how can we reinforce our quit?  Kind of hard to do so.

Many advice websites focus on the bad effects of cigarettes, and those things are very true.  Cigarettes cause ugly, nasty side effects and most smokers can recite all of those effects by heart.  A smoker obsesses over what cigarettes do to her body every time they light a smoke.  Every hitch in breath and pain makes her wonder if cigarettes have finally made irreparable damage.  Educating oneself about how disgusting cigarettes are and what they do to our body is very important, but not enough to get people to quit.  Maybe for a week or two, but fear does not usually sustain a quit.

What comes next?  How can positive reinforcement help our quit become successful?  This is what I do.

• I am always smelling my hair, clothes and fingers.  The behavior is a little strange, but has gotten me through more than a couple of cravings.  For some reason when I smell the clean scent of my own non-smoking being, it completely reinforces what I am doing.
• My sense of smell and taste were greatly affected when I smoked.  I could bury my nose in a bouquet of roses and not smell them.  Now, whenever I taste or smell anything I remind myself of how wonderful the experience is.  I do not want to lose it, and therefore I make sure I never take advantage of how glorious a lemon drop really tastes.
• I read.  I read about other people's quits.  I read forums, blogs and books.  I read about addiction and habits.  I read to educate myself and to laugh.  I have my favorite websites that I visit every day.  I read positive information about making health, life and love better.
• I think about the experiences that open up for me every day.  The walks and hikes that fulfill my soul and my body.  The extra time for myself and my family.  My ability to think clearly is indescribable and positive.  
• I focus on my health now.  I think about what I eat, drink and how active I am.  I take vitamins every day.  I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.
• When I smoked I was really hard on myself.  I hated myself everyday.  I did not think good of myself as a woman or a mother.  I put myself down for various reasons.  I do not do this now.  I am proud of myself now.  I feel good for what I have done.  I feel good as a mother.  I feel strong and capable.  I feel like I have a spine for standing up against my cravings instead of giving in to them.