Month 2 of Quitting Cigarettes Cold Turkey

• February 20, 2012: 1 month; 2 days; 4 hours; 51 minutes.  I have saved $124.51 and have beat 498 cigarettes.
• When I used to smoke I would take my break outside.  I would sit on my deck and think of what I get to do to my garden.  I would look at my plants (or in the winter where my plants will be) and think about how much peace they give me.  For the first time in a little over a month I sat outside and took a break.  I still looked at my plants.  I thought about how I used to smoke, how I would hate myself while smoking.  I did not think about how much I missed the nicotine.  I am starting to think of it in that way.  Not that I missed smoking. I hated smoking.  I hated the way my lips looked while sucking on the filter.  I hated the way smoke looked around my face.  I hated the smell on my fingers, hair and clothes.  But oh that nicotine rush is what I miss.  But now I find my happiness in different ways.  Today I breathed deep and thought how nice it was to have energy today.  I smelled the soggy leaves and felt the warm sun.  I am grateful for not constantly depending on nicotine to allow me to be happy about these things.
• February 21, 2012: 1 month; 3 days; 3 hours 0 minutes.  I have saved $127.97 and have beat 512 cigarettes. 
• Quick note that today is the first time I was face to face with a cigarette.  I went over to visit with my neighbor, who is a 2 pack a day smoker, and he offered me a cigarette.  I turned him down of course, but spent an hour or so with him and three smoked cigarettes.  He buys loose tobacco because it is cheaper.  Ugh.  I can still smell it on me.  I have not showered yet, but oh my gosh.  I know I used to smell like this and it never bothered me.  It smells like I am wearing cheap, nasty perfume that does not fade.  I can not get used to it.  I absolutely did not want a cigarette.  In fact, being in that room with no ventilation I felt like I was in a gas chamber.  How did I inhale that for so long?  Geez.  To see this from the other side is a whole new experience.  Like I stated before, I have to say I am addicted to nicotine because I could never inhale smoke again.
• March 1, 2012: 1 month; 12 days; 12 hours; 0 minutes.  I have saved $163.13 and have beat 653 cigarettes.  
• So it seems like I have a new recurrence of my body detoxing itself.  I am low on energy, high on stuffy nose, sore throat and coughing up phlegm.  I even have cold sores. I do not have a "cold" so I am thinking this is still detoxification. So this kind of sucks.  My vitamin taking inspired my daughters to take vitamins so I ran out.  Wondering if that may have to do with it also.  Who knows.  I will do some research.  
• Cravings are minimum - though present.  More than anything it is like remembering a past even in my life.  I acknowledge the craving for what it is and move on with my life.  It feels pretty darn good to live my life smoke free.  I have only really let a handful of people know that I am not smoking.  

New benefits: overall energy typically increases and symptoms like coughing, nasal congestion, fatigue, and shortness of breath diminish.  Also the small hairlike projections lining your lower airways begin to function normally.  This increases your lungs' ability to handle mucus, clean the airways and reduce infections.

Two Month Anniversary

Today is my two months no smoking.  Complete cold turkey from all sources of nicotine for 60 days.  No gum, patch, prescription, lozenge or e-cigarette.  I didn't wean myself down, change to a lighter cigarette, or a heavier one.  I didn't sneak one during stressful times, give myself excuses or dig through an ashtray.  I accepted my cravings for what they were, rode them out, and talked myself through.

I think about cigarettes every day.  Sometimes I think about how grateful I am to not smoke.  I love that I don't smell like cigarettes.  I think about my health a lot, and hope and pray I didn't do too much lasting damage.

I think about smoking a lot.  I miss inhaling smoke.  I miss holding a cigarette in between my fingers.  I miss the routine of it.  What the hell?

I look at those things like a memory of an old, toxic friend.  You know one of them?  They made you feel like shit and you still continued to stay friends.  You lost touch with them until you get a friend request on Facebook and you accept?  Yeah.  Cigarettes.  I just have to remember to stay away.  All the way.  Not a single puff.

Day 42: More Detoxification from Nicotine

• So it seems like I have a new recurrence of my body detoxing itself.  I am low on energy, high on stuffy nose, sore throat and coughing up phlegm.  I even have cold sores. I do not have a "cold" so I am thinking this is still detoxification. So this kind of sucks.  My vitamin taking inspired my daughters to take vitamins so I ran out.  Wondering if that may have to do with it also.  Who knows.  I will do some research.  
• I do want to mention that during my first month of cigarettes I barely coughed.  My smoker's cough disappeared but I did not cough up anything gross either.  I was expecting this because of what I have read - that the lungs try to purge themselves of nastiness.  So I am thinking that they are doing this now.
• Cravings are minimum - though present.  More than anything it is like remembering a past event in my life.  I acknowledge the craving for what it is and move on with my life.  It feels pretty darn good to live my life smoke free.  I have only really let a handful of people know that I am not smoking. 

Support is Vital to the Quit

I think that it is really important for people to let their family know that they plan on quitting cigarettes.  In the past my addiction was so terrible that the shame of telling them I relapsed was not enough to keep me from picking up a cigarette.  I wouldn't tell them right away though.  I would smoke, hide it for awhile, get annoyed with the inconvenience of closet smoking and then finally give in and let them know I relapsed.  I never thought to call them before I smoked that cigarette. 


One thing I can say is that if you do want to start smoking again and you take the time to call the people you love and let them know before you pick up that cigarette it may be a last chance to defer from giving in to a craving.  By talking to these people - it gets me through the craving, reminds me of how much I am loved and reaffirms why I am quitting because they are going to tell me.  They are the support group.


Around my month anniversary I hit a pretty big roadblock that, of course, caused me to want to smoke pretty bad.  - I had on my shoes, my car keys were in hand and I had talked myself into smoking.  I was in despair because I had given up. - I just happened to be talking to my husband at this time.  It was like he was talking a suicide jumper off the ledge.  It worked - he reminded me of all the reasons why I did not want to go buy those cigarettes.  


I think that it is necessary to choose the right type of people to support you through the quit.  They have to be positive, they have to understand addiction to nicotine and they have to have an unending supply of patience.  If you are lucky enough to have even one person like this to call during your quit - then share with them your quit experience.  Their input will be invaluable.  I hope someday I can return the favor.


NOT A SINGLE BIT OF NICOTINE - YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT - RESIGNING TO JUST ONE IS RESIGNING TO START SMOKING AGAIN - THIS KEEPS ME GOING.