I felt like something was missing today. Every time I finished with a task, I felt like I should be going outside to sit like I used to. I was afraid to go out to just enjoy the sunshine. It would feel like letting the devil in my doorway. So the question is this. How do I learn to relive my life? There is no guidance, no how-to book and no one can tell me how to rebuild my non-smoking life except for me. Smoking is how I have lived ever since I was a teenager and now I am rebuilding a new non-smoking me.
So I start from the ground up and learn to relive my life. I have to learn what true rewards are. I build without chemicals to fog up what is real and feels real. That is something new to me.
Even though nicotine does not fog the brain the way drugs or alcohol would, I believe it really messes with how I thought and enjoyed life. How does such a chemical make someone so dependent when there are no physical feel good effects? How do people continue? How do we get trapped with this chemical when we don't even get a high?
No comments:
Post a Comment