Day 20: Getting through the Cravings is its Own Reward

I want to say something that no one will believe unless they experience it themselves.  When you get through a major craving that brings you to your knees.  When you accept that craving and not give in and smoke - oh the reward of it is more satisfaction than any cigarette can provide.

The worst non-smokers are the used-to-be-smokers because they have gone through their own personal hell and survived with success.  Of course they are going to be smug know-it-alls.  They feel as if they accomplished something that no one else has.  They look with disgust at smokers because cigarettes have become the enemy.  The smell, the taste of second-hand smoke, seeing someone exhale and inhale - all of it disgusts them because the quit is unpleasant and mentally painful.  Watching someone else become consumed by this habit that hurts so many things and this makes them feel very angry.  I am going to do my best to not be an angry ex-smoker because I can understand the addiction, the relapse and the quit.  There is no reason to judge.

Everyone wants to encourage people to quit so they don't really talk about exactly how hard cravings can be.  They say work through it, talk yourself out of it, use your tools and this sounds so easy.  It is not easy.  It is nerve wracking.  Cravings are awful.  AWFUL.  Be ready for them.  The little cravings during Hell Week are nothing compared to big stress cravings.  I saw three very determined quitters give in to their cravings this week because the regular cravings are physically and mentally exhausting.  Do not be scared of this but be ready.

I always thought of cravings as contractions a woman has during childbirth.  They are very similar.  They build up and spread until the whole body feels consumed with one unpleasant sensation.  Time distorts as this unpleasant feeling takes over our thoughts.  We focus our attention on working through the unpleasantries, breathing and distracting ourselves.  As the contraction/craving fades we are one step closer to a new life.  As soon as that new life appears we forget all of the pain and focus on the joy.  We never forget the hard work.

The feeling you get after the crave is over is better than any cigarette.  This feeling of accomplishment is a rush in itself.  Not the same as a nicotine rush.  Defiantly better than a nicotine rush.  The feeling is harder to identify unless I really think about my overall satisfaction with what I am doing with my life and health.  When I think about this and compare it to the nicotine rush I would much rather choose my quit alternative.  It is what motivates me to continue this wicked journey.

It has been a little cold here so I have been avoiding my walks.  I know, I know.  You miss the pictures.  So do I.  I will get out there soon.  I have not gained much weight yet and I think it is because I have been excercising and focusing on my health. I do not want to lose that momentum.